In this post we are going to cover the relationship non-negotiables that will greatly enrich your life.
These non-negotiables will benefit not only new relationships, but existing ones as well.
If you are ready to see the impact they can have on your relationships (and life!), then this post is for you!
Let’s get started.
Our Relationships
Relationships come in many forms, all varying in degrees of deepness, closeness, length and so forth.
Each relationship will also fill a unique role within our life.
A simplified definition of the word relationship is the state of being related by kindred, affinity, or other alliance.
Or, put another way, a particular type of connection existing between people related to or having dealings with each other.
We may have relationships with our spouse, with our children, as well as with our parents, siblings, and extended family.
There are the relationships we’ve built with our neighbors and community. The ones with our close friends, whether from childhood or ones that showed up later in our life.
We even form relations with our co-workers, colleagues, and the people in which we interact with on a daily basis.
Because relationships are such a huge part of our life experience, shouldn’t we be intentional about making them great?
How Great Relationships Can Enrich Our Life
When we consider all of our relationships, and how each one plays a special part in who we are as a person, we can really begin to appreciate their significance.
Every relationship offers something different, but overall, they will each add a richness and fullness to our life in their own way.
They can provide us a sense of belonging, community, and a multifaceted view of the world.
The great relationships in our lives will give us the freedom to be our true authentic selves, and will bring out our uniqueness and individuality.
Great relationships make us feel safe, secure, content, and give us peace of mind.
The best relationships will give us a deep sense of connection, of purpose, and will encourage us to become our very best.
What are the most important things in a relationship?
So what really matters?
I think most of us would agree there are certain things that are negotiable, and others that are non-negotiable, when it comes to our relationships.
Great relationships don't just happen. They take time, patience, and two people willing to put in the effort.
What are negotiables in a relationship?
Negotiables are going to be the surface level stuff.
These are the things that are shallow, fleeting, and not directly connected to our morals or values.
Negotiable qualities in a relationship might be things like having differing fashion styles, hobbies, tastes in music, or preferences in food, movies or sports teams.
Basically it’s the stuff that, at the end of the day, has nothing to do with how you treat people, or who each of you are at the core.
Figuring out your non-negotiables in a relationship
Non-negotiables are not shallow, they go much deeper.
They are the foundation in which the relationship is built upon.
Non-negotiable is defined as not open to discussion or reconsideration.
How do you find your non-negotiables?
Relationship non-negotiables will be based around principles.
Examples of non-negotiables in a relationship are things such as being trustworthy, being ethical, having pure intentions, motives, and so on.
These are going to be the things concerning who you are as a person. The things related to your values, your character, your ambitions and life goals.
What are my relationship non-negotiables?
When I set out to build the types of relationships that would add richness and fullness to my life, there were 3 non-negotiables, or values, that stood out above the rest.
These are the values we should not only seek out in others, but should work to cultivate and bring out within ourselves.
These relationship non-negotiables are: Integrity, Growth, and Continuity.
1. Integrity
Our most authentic and meaningful relationships will be built from this starting point.
Integrity is not about being perfect, it’s about being authentic.
Integrity in a relationship is about having someone, and being someone, who is trustworthy, reliable, principled and consistent.
When the relationship is built with integrity, you know you have someone you can rely upon. You have each other's best interests at heart; there are no ulterior motives.
You are both acting in good faith.
This relationship non-negotiable enriches our life by providing us a place where we are free to be our authentic self, and know we will be accepted for who we are.
2. Growth
When growth is a focus of the relationship, you will bring out the best in one another.
As iron sharpens iron, So one person sharpens another.
A relationship built with a growth mentality will be about encouraging each other to reach your full potential.
They will be the relationships where you tell each other what you need to hear, not always what you want to hear; where you each truly want the other to succeed.
In all areas of life.
The value of growth focused relationships enriches our life by giving us a greater sense of purpose, direction, meaning, and a desire to strive for personal excellence.
3. Continuity
The third non-negotiable in a relationship is continuity.
Continuity: moving forward toward the possibilities of the future, while keeping a connection to our roots.
Continuity is the unique exchange of insight and knowledge that occurs when we expand our social circle to include multi-generational & multicultural connections.
When we seek out these types of relationships, we aim to preserve wisdom from the past, learn to appreciate the richness of culture, and develop optimism & curiosity for the future.
It is uninterrupted connection, succession, and union.
Things like passing down family traditions, heirlooms, or learning & incorporating practices from other cultures are just a few ways this value enriches our life.
Final Thoughts
It’s understandable that not all relationships are going to be perfect. They take patience, commitment, and a certain amount of attention and intention.
Each relationship will bring its own set of problems and challenges.
It's not about cutting anyone out of our life who doesn't add to it, but we should make a point to limit (or sometimes let go of) the unfruitful or negative relationships in our lives.
The focus should instead be on building these values first within ourselves, and then prioritizing relationships that uplift, encourage, and bring out the best in us.
What About You?
What are your non-negotiable qualities in a relationship?
Let us know in the comments below!